Well, my real life won out over my blogging life yesterday, sorry about that, I feel bad especially after the semi post you got the day before. I was on the comp ALLLL night trying to get my trip set up since it is getting really close and I still didn’t have any definite plans, by the time I was done I really just needed to shut my comp off before I chucked it out into the rain.
The good news is I got a plane ticket booked, I will leave for Chicago right after my last final Monday 9/22 and will be in Chicago for 2 days and Milwaukee for 1 day, then I fly back Thursday morning and enjoy the rest of my break 
I am a little nervous about this trip, partially because I haven’t modelled in almost a year and I’m afraid I’ll be rusty, and partially because this is kind of my last attempt to get my career going. If I don’t start booking jobs soon after this trip I am going to stop pursuing this and focus on school more. I want to keep modeling though so I really hope it works out.
Although I LOVED the time I spent in NY doing fashion modeling, it was grueling, hard on the psychie, and I just wasn’t making enough money. It’s a very intense market there and they are very harsh. Plus I’m getting too old to do fashion modeling as crazy as that sounds, 21 is a sr citizen as far as cat walks are concerned.
Chicago is a much more relaxed market, and they are based less on fashion and more on catalogue work (think JC Penny’s, Sears, Delias) which doesn’t have an age limit and pays better. It’s somewhat less glamorous, but I think it’s just more me.
The thought of stopping modeling all together makes me so sad, I tear up to think this may be my last modeling trip ever, it has been such a defining part of my life for so long now. To stop modeling would be to give up my childhood dream. Although I am very excited about my future career in dietetics, it seems so boring and grown up compared to the whirlwind trip modeling has taken me on these last few years. Perhaps it’s time to give up the fairy tale, be grateful I had the experience at all, and move on.
But not before one last attempt…wish me luck, of course I will keep you guys posted every step of the way!!!
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Edited to add:
As those of you who follow fashion very well know it is fashion week in NYC, that time of the year where all of the designers showcase their new lines and all the modeling agencies showcase their newest top models. I am cruising the Internet at work here and cannot seem to get away from this, every site I look at is talking about fashion week and posting pics of the the girls and back stage, even freaking CNN.com won’t shut up about it. So all of this has me felling like WHY IN THE F**K AREN’T I OUT THERE!?!?!?!?!?!?!
What am I doing here sitting in a stupid office at an insurance company when I could be, and have been, in the most glamorous city, doing the most glamorous job in the entire world (in my opinion)??? I am ssooo very torn on this. It literally stings my heart to see anything on tv or in the news about modeling and this makes me feel like I should go back to NY and go for it again. But then I ask myself, what did I accomplish in the year I lived there? I had fun, met cool people, but in the end I came back with some awesome memories, giant credit card debt…and that’s it. Here I am actually making more then I spend, saving for the future, going to school…
what’s more important at this point, responsibility, or following your dreams???
UGH THE AGONY, do you ever wish someone could make your decisions for you? That’s how I feel right now and IT SUCKS.
I’m sorry blog readers you are experiencing a slight break down on my part, I will be back with my regularly scheduled sanity and pictures as soon as I get out of this funk.
In the mean time, please leave me some love and encouragement, I could use it right now 
14 Comments
September 12, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Good luck! I bet you’ll do wonderfully. Have a great time!
September 12, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Aww, I really hope it works out for the best for you and that you are able to book some jobs! I’m sure you’ll do great. I’ll have my fingers crossed!
September 12, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Have fun! Enjoy every minute of it!
September 12, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Thanks guys, I have a lot riding on this, and your encouragement means a lot!
September 12, 2008 at 2:51 pm
I just happened upon your blog, and in my experience, living in the lime light and fast is awesome, but there’s something to be said for living comfortably, too–both financially and mentally. Then you can just travel to do that stuff and then come back to calmness.
September 12, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Oh you sweetheart, if you can’t cry on your blog then why keep one to begin with?!
I’ve always been so jealous of anyone with a dream, a real yearning that comes from ones toes to follow an ambition…I have been clueless since college…however, my dear girl, you’re a lucky ducky as you have more than one path you want to follow when it comes to career, modeling and dietetics, and you’ve had the opportunity to follow both! Very few folk can say such.
However, the dietetics game can wait a year or so if you don’t feel like you’re finished chasing the modeling dream…but if you look deep within and are satisfied that you gave it your all, then there’ll be no regrets in bringing that chapter of your life to a close.
Eeek, sorry for getting so preachy!
September 12, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Cara~
Thanks doll! I need to keep remembering that I can ALWAYS go to school for dietetics, I feel rushed to get my degree because all of my friends are starting to graduate, but in the grand scheme of things graduating at 26 won’t be the worst thing to happen right? Maybe I need to relax and realize that I can have it all…in due time.
Fitbottom girl~
Thanks for the advice, I really hope that’s how it turns out, I can travel for modeling and then come home to my real life….oohhhh I hope it works out! And thanks for checking out the blog !
September 12, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Whew! I’m so glad that you were able to get that flight booked – I’m keeping my fingers crossed tightly that all works out for you in Chicago, for the best.
You SHOULD be in Fashion Week!! Hang in there, Jess, and do NOT lose your determination and positivity!!
September 13, 2008 at 11:52 am
hey girl,
i’ve checked out your blog a few times but this post is making me step out of lurkdom and leave a comment:
good luck- we’ll all be thinking about you!!! keep your head up, don’t get discouraged and stay positive.. if you keep imagining yourself in fashion week, it will happen.
you are so talented:D
September 13, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Feel better! I’m new to your blog, but it seems like you have a good head on your shoulders. My best friend was a (pretty sucessful) model throughout high school and she definitly went through the same feelings as you are now when she stopped.
September 13, 2008 at 11:13 pm
Good luck! I thnk if you want to go back to NY you will know and can always do than. For now, enjoy Chicago. You gave many reasons for wanting to be terre so just remind yourself of those reasons.
September 14, 2008 at 8:37 am
i would continue to focus on your school, bf, health, etc… while being in the limelight may be glamorous in your 20′s, it will certainly not last forever and based on what i’ve heard of model lifestyles and relationships, they aren’t as fulfilling as one would assume.
of course, you’ve seen all of this up close and personal. you seem to have a healthy, happy life right now–despite the longing for more adventure. you can totally get that fix without having to delve completely into the modeling world, can’t you?
good luck in chicago though;) post some pics of the food there–i hear its good??
September 15, 2008 at 12:05 am
Right…about the making decisions for you thing, I’m quite aware of my slacking in that area. Feel free to fire me if you wish, it’ll be painful but I’ll understand.
September 25, 2008 at 1:28 am
The best way to destroy a fairy tale ending is to believe in fairy tales
Fairy tales take work… make them happen